Help me destroy and rebuild my resume

[JSA1987]

attachment removed

Okay, I'm attaching my revision of my resume. I think I've done my best to integrate everyone's (much appreciated) advice.

I completely removed the "wall of hyphen bullets" and created three indent levels.

I'd love to get some more feedback:

How is the spacing on the actuarial exams?

I like it better without the graphical bullets, what do you think?

Hanging indent - good or bad? I thought it helped break up that "wall" feeling.

What should I eliminate - perhaps some of the bullets under Rocksolid Builders, or part of the internship, or the whole music video show?

Is there a better way to plug in my SAT score? I scoured this forum, but only found DTNF's joking suggestion to put it under Other Interesting Facts about Me. Perhaps I could put it under the first heading, calling it "Actuarial and Other Relevant Exams"?

Any other way to plug my math background? I could say that my math GPA was 4.00, but it's a small sample size, and they were pre-NYU (SUPA Calculus courses taken during high school for college credit). Moreover, my overall GPA was only 2.92, major GPA 3.19, final semester 3.15. Obviously I did some other interesting things that sacrificed my college work (probably ill-advisedly), but you'd probably defer the whole topic of GPA until the interview, right?

[andperseandy]

It looks like you forgot to redact personal information.

The right-aligned name is distracting. I would go for something less unusual.

You're going onto the second page.

[knifoon120]

I'm no expert on resumes, but here is some advice to think about:

• Use bullet points. It makes things easy to read and easy to follow. But don't go back to version one. Try to condense all of those points into fewer bullets so you don't have the "wall" feeling.
  
  
• I put my SAT scores under education. I'm not sure "Other interesting facts about me" is an appropriate heading for an SAT score. Also, if you put your math score in, do you need to put your verbal score in?
  
  
• I wouldn't make the resume 1 page and 5 lines. Shorten it to just 1 page by adjusting margins, font size, or condensing of bullet points.
  
  
• I think paid internships go under work experience. Leave NYU under education. I think leaving in Gallatin is okay, but I'm sure people already know that NYU is a really good school.
  
  
• I really like bullet points. Condense. "Prepared custom financial reports and analyses using Excel" and "Compiled and presented budget requests using Excel" is something that you could probably put under one bullet point.

I like bullet points so much that I used two of them to suggest the same thing. Hope these suggestions help!

[JSA1987]

Originally Posted by andperseandy

It looks like you forgot to redact personal information.

Yeah, a couple of other people thought that, too. It's actually a fake name & address & fake employer names. I guess I need to pick something more obviously fake next time.

The right-aligned name is distracting. I would go for something less unusual.

Originally I had it with the last name aligned with the left margin, but I was having problems printing to PDF with it that way. I have to correct that. I assume your criticism would still stand, though, because the name would still be right-aligned.

You're going onto the second page.

Yeah, I wanted to offer a couple of possibilities of things to take out. In retrospect I should have made a final draft on one page rather than show it in this work-in-progress stage.

Originally Posted by knifoon120

I'm no expert on resumes, but here is some advice to think about:

• Use bullet points. It makes things easy to read and easy to follow. But don't go back to version one. Try to condense all of those points into fewer bullets so you don't have the "wall" feeling.

• Do you like the "dash" bullets?
  
  
  

  I put my SAT scores under education. I'm not sure "Other interesting facts about me" is an appropriate heading for an SAT score. Also, if you put your math score in, do you need to put your verbal score in?

  I definitely agree about the "other interesting ...", will try to find a way to put it under Education. You're probably right about the verbal, though I only wanted to emphasize the math score. I guess I have to find out my verbal score.
  

  I wouldn't make the resume 1 page and 5 lines. Shorten it to just 1 page by adjusting margins, font size, or condensing of bullet points.

  (addressed above)
  

  I think paid internships go under work experience. Leave NYU under education. I think leaving in Gallatin is okay, but I'm sure people already know that NYU is a really good school.
  
  

  I really like bullet points. Condense. "Prepared custom financial reports and analyses using Excel" and "Compiled and presented budget requests using Excel" is something that you could probably put under one bullet point.

I like bullet points so much that I used two of them to suggest the same thing. Hope these suggestions help!

Will re-bullet and condense where possible.

Thanks very much, knifoon120 & andperseandy for taking the time to look at & critique it!

P.S. Bullets and quotes appear to not play nicely together.

[JSA1987]

Okay, here is my final draft. For me, it has been quite a journey and I really appreciate everyone's help.

I'll hopefully be emailing this to a chief actuary tomorrow, so I welcome any needed tweaks.

Thanks again.